To one of my most treasured friends ever: You.
Throughout 21 years of living on this world, you are the only person that I can call a rival and a friend in the same breath. We started out as project group mates 8 years ago, and ever since then, you have always been a thorn in my flesh. Wanting to excel in the English language and to score better than you in English became a constant motivation for me. Without you, I do believe that my love for the language would definitely not be as strong as it is now. Or at the very least, I would not have been so stupid to consider minoring in English Studies and thus make myself go through such agony right now.
Despite this agony, learning English beside you have really encouraged me to do a wider range of reading, and indirectly, opened a whole new world to me. English language thus literally became our medium of communication. Taking into account the boring comprehensions that we had to do, the orals and of course, the compositions that we had to write built a really special bond between us. A bond that lasted all the way till now. So it should come as no surprise that my gift to you comes in a form of this letter. Stop grumbling if this letter sounds academic and does not meet your criteria for mushiness, blame it on all the term papers that I have had to write for the past month. It’s been a real horror. At 1am in the morning, as I type this word document that might sound formal, I hereby assure you that it is still entirely reflective of what I want to say, of what is really in my heart. I promise. =)
In the four years of our secondary school life, your patience, your sensitivity and your high tolerance rate sets you apart from many people, and from many of my other friends. You were someone that I could turn to whenever I got too stressed from my studies (which was quite often), and not just a fair-weathered friend. I knew that I could depend on you whenever I needed a helping hand. Already in your own way, you were special. You were (and still are) one of the most beautiful person I’ve ever had the honor of meeting, not because you know how to dress up, not because of your knock-‘em- down figure and not because of your gorgeous looks. But because, you have one of the most caring and loving heart.
You taught me more than the appreciation of the English language. You taught me how to care as well. You might be surprised to know this, but I was, (and probably still is) a very selfish person, and I’m not saying this to get positive feedback from you kays. I cared more about myself, and fitting in with the popular clique a lot more than my friends. But through your trusting and loving nature, you showed me what it is like to really care for a person. Many times when I had wanted to give up on our common friend, you still persevered. When I wanted to give up on myself, you encouraged me. When I went into one of my moods and vented my anger on you, you tolerated. To you, it seemed like just because I am your friend, I had the right to vent my anger on you. Though that’s not true, but you never retaliated. In fact, the very concept of “an eye for an eye” seems foreign to you altogether. If we believed in evolutionary theories, you would be extinct by now!
After secondary school, we went our separate ways, parted to pursue our own dreams and passions. You took the risk and instead of heading towards the conventional pathway of education, you headed to where your heart led you, just as you’ve always did. Those 2-3 years were probably the least times in which we kept in contact. You were busy with your new life, and I was too. Both of us were caught up in trying to adapt to our new environments. To be honest, I was really upset at parting ways with you at that point of time. Over a short span of four years, though we were not inseparable, but there was a form of closeness in our friendship that no one else can penetrate. I knew that I would miss having you in my class, miss your presence terribly. But being the proud person that I am, I said nothing. JC life was hectic, and I guess I was as much to blame as you when the distance between us lengthened, when we started having to talk to each other while hiding behind the computer screen.
While writing my GP essays, I was frequently reminded of a particular topic that we touched on previously while in Beatty. If you recall, while in Beatty, my ambition then was to become an English teacher, I aspired to be like Ms Loo and Ms Pearly Lim. Back then, when we started discussing about the future, about the different paths that we would embark on. You told me then, that the road to becoming an English teacher is not an easy one, you told me that I had to go through GP, which is really tough, and causes people to lose interest in the English language, because GP doesn’t allow us to flaunt our creativity and language description, because GP was boring. I can’t say why, but that conversation stayed with me throughout my JC life, and in a way, it guided me towards the application to MOE’s teaching award. Now, while you are on your way to becoming the top journalist of the century, I’m also well on my way to being an English teacher. Whether or not I’ll continue to teach for the rest of my life, I know not. Don’t really want to ruin the future young minds =p. But while I’m at it, I hope that once again, the medium of the English language would bond us even closer, and strengthen this very special friendship that we have.
Now we are both in Uni. Ironically, it is only in Uni that we became closer again. The stress and workload on top of the fact that we are once again a salient factor in each other’s life contributed to some harsh words spoken and some unhappiness between us. In a way, we start to expect more from each other. After the 3 years of distance, though we were able to hit off just as we were before, but things have changed drastically since secondary school. I don’t know about you, but I’d admit that I’m guilty of expecting no change. I had not taken into consideration the changes that you have gone through as well, and yet I expect you to know my changes. That was probably really unfair of me. I remember I told you once that with no expectations come no disappointments. But now that I think about it, I wonder, which is worse? Being constantly disappointed because of your expectations with regards to your friends, or no disappointments, because you no longer dare to pin any form of expectations on your friends. In short, given up. Which would be the lesser of the two devils?
Knowing new friends, forming larger social groups. All these are part and parcel of our lives. But new friends have their own memories, they can never take away nor replace the memories that old friends share. Let’s not let memories be all that is left of our friendship. Yours is really a friendship that I treasure and want to maintain throughout my whole life. We have changed, in more ways than we can both imagine, and more changes will take place as we grow older and start finding our role in society. But I do hope that this friendship will stay with me for all of my life, come what may. One close friend is worth a thousand acquaintances, and a thousand acquaintances are really too many people to keep track of. So I’d rather choose to have a close friend like you anytime. =)
Life is a long journey, and I’m really glad to have a friend like you walking by my side. By now, as the clock strikes 12, you should have already seen how much effort your friends put into celebrating your 21st =) Don’t you feel loved?
And the following is the mushy line that you probably have been yearning for =p:
我不愿停留在一个没有你的世界，所以希望你不要一直向前看，偶尔能回头一下，记得一直站在你背后的这个朋友。因为当你背对着我时，你所看到的是一个没有我的世界。
PS: I wrote this out myself kays, it’s not a quote taken from anywhere! lotsa love, from me.
